We have been told many times that true love is a verb, so real that it’s visible for even the blind to see. The definitions go on and on, it’s never ending.
What is love to you? Who is love to you?
Out of so many definitions, theories and practicals out there, there is one that stuck with me. A wise woman I was fortunate to meet a few years ago, asked me what love is. I don’t remember my exact response but it was probably one of the usual definitions.
She said I wasn’t wrong and then she gave me her own definition. She said, “love is never having to say I’m sorry”.
My instinct to argue this out was already kicking in (like yours probably is right now 🙃). My naive eyes saw holes in her definition. I mean, how is it possible to never have to say I’m sorry? I believed and still believe that there will always be moments were apologies will set in because to err is human. Hence, defining love as never having to say sorry was quite confusing for my sixteen year old self. So I asked what she meant and she explained.
I cannot recount her words verbatim but I remember the summary; when you truly love someone whether family, friend or life partner, you make conscious effort to ensure that you do not knowingly do things that will end up with you having to say, I’m sorry.
I understood that “never having to say I’m sorry” meant never having to intentionally cause grief or pain to the one you claim to love.
We have all seen or heard of instances where people say they love someone but still did things that made you question how true that love is. You already know this person enough to forsee what would lead to “I’m sorry” so why not just do what you can to avoid it?
I’m not talking about the playful bants where we say sorry and laugh it off, I’m talking about deeper hurts that leave a scar, cause insomnia and even silence someone’s laughter.
If you saw the hurt coming and you still went head on then that is not love.
You knew someone you claim to hold dear would loose sleep and smile yet you did not stop. You knew those actions whether repeated or for the first time would cause someone to question their self worth and drive them to an edge yet that did not deter you. You knew you would have to say I’m sorry yet you continued on the path. Is that truly love?
Think about it for a minute. When was the last time you said “I love you” to someone? Now think again, how many avoidable “I’m sorry” have you said since the year began?
Just take a little time to think as we move into a new month. This fabulous February that we call the month of love. Have you been a true friend, husband, wife, father, mother, daughter, son, sibling? Have you?
How about the God you say you love? It is true that grace is there but “what shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?”.
I love you; it has more weight than it lets on. Why not be sure you can carry it before you promise it?
I wish you a love filled February ahead! I love you and Jesus loves you much more!